Patterns in Codependency

What is Codependency?

These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in selfevaluation.

They may be particularly helpful to newcomers as they begin to

understand codependency and may aid those who have been in recovery a

while to determine what traits still need attention and transformation.

Denial Patterns:

  • · I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
  • · I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
  • · I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well

being of others.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:

  • · I have difficulty making decisions.
  • · I judge everything I think, say, or do harshly, as never “good enough.”
  • · I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
  • · I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
  • · I value other’s approval of my thinking, feelings, and behaviors over

my own.

  • · I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance Patterns:

  • · I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’


  • · I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
  • · I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
  • · I value others’ opinions and feelings more than my own and am often

afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.

  • · I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others


  • · I accept sex when I want love.

Control Patterns:

  • · I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
  • · I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and how they

“truly” feel.

  • · I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
  • · I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
  • · I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
  • · I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
  • · I have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship with others.     (for more click here)

-Celebrate Recovery ®

Revised 2004-08-21 CoDep Patterns-1

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