Archive for the ‘R- Realize that I am not God;’ Category

Am I in Denial?  Signs you may be in Denial, the Deception and the Truth

We admitted that we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors and that our lives had become unmanageable.

“I can stop any time I want to.”  “I have it under control”  “I’m not hurting anyone.”  “I’m stronger than other people.”  “It really isn’t that bad.” “I don’t need to change”.   

In recovery we call this denial.  For me that was always one of the laughable insults.  

 Denial is far from laughable. It is by far one of  the biggest weapon the enemy uses weaken us.  Because as long as we keep silent about our doubts, fears,  hurts, and hang-ups and limitations, the harder it is for us be in a position to say yes to the life God has for us.   It is hard to accept that people of faith can be in denial,  but I find it easier to accept the phrase self-deception.  Even the Bible hall of Famers were deceived, and suffered the effects of denial.  For this lesson we will take a look at the life of one such Bible hero,  review some of the signs of denial, its toll on our lives, and how the bible addresses the deceptions.   (more…)

Celebrate recovery helped me to see that the biggest roadblock to healing is un-forgiveness.      Years ago whenever I heard teachings on forgiveness,  I  didn’t listen too closely because  I felt I was a very forgiving person.  But I was mistaking “write off” for forgiveness.   It went both ways: If I was accused I would deny the harm, or withdraw physically and or emotionally from that person. If I was wronged,  I likewise would deny that harm was done, and often withdraw  physically emotionally  from the wrong-doer. In both cases I found myself withdrawing mentally as well (mental withdrawal from me was when I would forget..the extent of a relationship, the existence of a relationship, or the situation in general) .   The harder it was to deny or withdraw the more likely I would act  on my addictive or compulsive behaviors.  In addition the relationships I had were  shallow or eventually abandoned.  And while I could walk around with a smile, the trap was in denying the hurt, I ultimately had to deny myself (a mere human), and others (also human).   And erring is human!

Celebrate recovery’s  Principle 1  says  that   pretending the hurt isn’t there or that it doesn’t bother you anymore won’t solve your problems.

Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB) reminds us that “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!”

This is key to why we look back in recovery

As I work through my regular inventory I realize the roots of my compulsive behaviors and addictive desires can be traced back to buried pain.  This is recovery up to this point:   realizing I am wounded,  know God can heal,  allowing him to heal,   open up the wound,  confess our wounded-ness,   allow God to clean it out,   and now be willing to make amends and offer forgiveness.. This is the lasting solution…..  more… (click here for complete lesson)

You may be doing everything right.  You announce that there are  volunteer sign up sheets for those who want to serve….   So where are the volunteers? 

When we started recruiting for Celebrate recovery we asked ourselves the same question.  None-the less it was clear that God was moving forward in  this ministry  and my partner and I buckled in to see what He was going to do.

It was a shaky kick-off, but we trusted that God’s healing would happen regardless of our capabilities.   So with humbleness and prayerfulness we stepped into what God was doing at our church through Celebrate Recovery.   And in contrast to our pre-launch meetings  in only a few weeks  we were blessed with committed  volunteers.    What was the difference?

This weekend we gained some insight:

After church we were approached in the parking lot by someone who wanted to know if we would like him to run the soundboard and power point for us for Celebrate Recovery.   The exciting thing was we had just gotten out of meeting where one of the requests we had was for tech support.

You can imagine our excitement when minutes later our need was met!   How could this person have  know we needed a tech, and how could his timing have been so perfect: 

II Corinthians 12:9 says, ” My Grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness”.  

  I John 5: 14-15 And this is the confidence which we have before Him that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And  if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the request which we have asked from him.  

 So it would seem that we are blessed with volunteers because of  these 2 things:  Our need for God’s grace in our weakness,  and asking according to his will.

I know our volunteer had heard both Rodger and I  apologizing for our technical problems during our last meeting.  No doubt  our weakness was showing. I get that, but  he  had no idea that had just  asked for help, but God did.   God’s timing makes the point pretty clear.

 Looking back to when our sign up sheet filled up, it was a similar story.  The meeting was running rougher than usual  as  my ministry partner had to run the meeting solo.  He said apologized for being lost without his partner (ahh he is also my husband).   So rather than offering an “opportunity to serve”, or telling people we had a volunteer sign up list, he simply asked for help.  There you go.

Two weeks ago we asked if anyone wanted   to help us by doing a  testimony about amends.  You guessed it.  We had a volunteer.

So it  seems,  asking for help has  nothing to do with doing everything right  and   finding volunteers who want to serve.   But it does have to do with allowing our weaknesses to show,  and asking  for help, God does the rest.   Maybe that is why our steps are about  “humbly asking God..”  

 

I hope you are encouraged. 

 Proverbs 12:25  Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.