Step One Lesson on Denial

Am I in Denial?  Signs you may be in Denial, the Deception and the Truth

We admitted that we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors and that our lives had become unmanageable.

“I can stop any time I want to.”  “I have it under control”  “I’m not hurting anyone.”  “I’m stronger than other people.”  “It really isn’t that bad.” “I don’t need to change”.   

In recovery we call this denial.  For me that was always one of the laughable insults.  

 Denial is far from laughable. It is by far one of  the biggest weapon the enemy uses weaken us.  Because as long as we keep silent about our doubts, fears,  hurts, and hang-ups and limitations, the harder it is for us be in a position to say yes to the life God has for us.   It is hard to accept that people of faith can be in denial,  but I find it easier to accept the phrase self-deception.  Even the Bible hall of Famers were deceived, and suffered the effects of denial.  For this lesson we will take a look at the life of one such Bible hero,  review some of the signs of denial, its toll on our lives, and how the bible addresses the deceptions.  

Hope

In the first principle, we admitted we were powerless. Now in the second principle, we come to believe God exists, that we are important to Him, and that we are able to receive God’s power to help us recover. It’s in the second step we find HOPE!

Higher Power Our higher power is Jesus Christ.

“Everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power.” Romans 11:36,
“My grace is enough for r you: for where there is weakness, my power is shown the more completely.” 2Corinthinas 12:9..

Openness to change:

“Now your attitudes and thoughts must all be constantly changing for the better. Yes, You must be a new and different person.” Ephesians 4:23

Power to change:

“For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and the power.” Philippians 4:13
“Lead me; teach me; for you are the God who gives me salvation. I have not hope except in
you.” Psalm 25

Expect to change:

“I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping
you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus
Christ return.” Philippians 1:6
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we don’ to see.”
Hebrews 11:1

Principle Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4)

Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. “For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13)
2: Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.

This week consider the following:
• In the past where were you looking for hope?
• What is your current belief about God’s characteristics?
• Compare and contrast God with your Earthly father. Compare and contrast your feelings for God vs. and your earthly father taking this step, where were you trying to find hope?
• How can knowing Jesus help you step out of denial and into reality?
• out of your denial and face reality?
• What are things are you ready to change
• in your life?
Anyone who comes to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

Celebrate Recovery®

Step 11: Prayer is not the Action Word

What mighty praise, O God, belongs to you in Zion.  

We will fulfill our vows to you. All of us must come to you.

Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgive them all.

What joy for those you choose to bring near,  those who live in your holy courts

What festivities await us inside your holy Temple. 

You faithfully answer prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior.  

You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas.

You formed the mountains by you power and armed yourself with mighty strength.

Psalm 65: 1-6

Spending time in prayer can be  a joy or a chore.  Today and yesterday, it seemed I was in a hurry to get my “daily time with God” checked off my list of things to do.  So for the last couple of days,  my attitude toward prayer was seeing it as  more like a chore. 

I’m not going to beat myself up about it.  There is a saying  that says “God’s word does not come up void.”  So  I know that whenever I am reading God’s word something will come of it.    So today as I dutifully read from the Bible, the passage took root.   After reading (the above scripture) I had to acknowledge that  I forgotten what it was like to “hear” from God.  I remember being eager to see how the scripture was going to fit into what was happening in my life.  As today,  ironically reminded me, though I was admonished for taking my daily time for granted, settling in to hear what God had to say to me  brought me such joy.   And so today I was reminded that God does have something to say to me.  And that intimacy with God is something so valuable that the enemy would use any device to de-value the few tools we have to bring us into that intimacy.

  step 10:  We sought through prayer and mediation

 to improve our conscious contact with God,

 praying only for knowledge of His will for us

and the power to carry that out.

   The action word in step 11 is  not “pray”, nor is it “meditate”;  The action word is “sought”.  (Praying and meditating are those  tools that I  can use to improve my conscious contact with God.     

I am  to seek to improve my conscious contact with God.  (No need to seek after Him, as he is in always in contact with me).

There are times when uninterrupted talking or sharing are beneficial; but wha joy  is there to be found when the creator of the universe acknowledges he has been listening and what more is; He loves me and cares for me anyway.

Lesson 20 Notes: Daily Inventory

 Lesson 20 is about our Daily Inventory.  I was thinking about how this reminded me assigning homework.  As adults I how much do we really write down?  I brought with me a remnant from my former career.  As a teacher I often asked students to journal each evening.   Here is a sample of what one of my students wrote:   Journal.1./ today is the first day I write in this agenda and well I was going to move tomorrow and then my uncle said six… 

    Our lesson today is called Daily Inventory However; notice that step 10 does not say how often we do our personal inventory:

Step 10 “We continued to take a personal inventory when we were, wrong promptly admitted it.   It does not say daily, but rather it says when we were wrong.  (We will talk more about that later) The principal however, Principle 7 says to reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.  So I consider of self examination that an inventory fits right in….more… (Click here for complete Lesson notes)

 

Lesson 17 Notes: Forgiveness

Celebrate recovery helped me to see that the biggest roadblock to healing is un-forgiveness.      Years ago whenever I heard teachings on forgiveness,  I  didn’t listen too closely because  I felt I was a very forgiving person.  But I was mistaking “write off” for forgiveness.   It went both ways: If I was accused I would deny the harm, or withdraw physically and or emotionally from that person. If I was wronged,  I likewise would deny that harm was done, and often withdraw  physically emotionally  from the wrong-doer. In both cases I found myself withdrawing mentally as well (mental withdrawal from me was when I would forget..the extent of a relationship, the existence of a relationship, or the situation in general) .   The harder it was to deny or withdraw the more likely I would act  on my addictive or compulsive behaviors.  In addition the relationships I had were  shallow or eventually abandoned.  And while I could walk around with a smile, the trap was in denying the hurt, I ultimately had to deny myself (a mere human), and others (also human).   And erring is human!

Celebrate recovery’s  Principle 1  says  that   pretending the hurt isn’t there or that it doesn’t bother you anymore won’t solve your problems.

Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB) reminds us that “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!”

This is key to why we look back in recovery

As I work through my regular inventory I realize the roots of my compulsive behaviors and addictive desires can be traced back to buried pain.  This is recovery up to this point:   realizing I am wounded,  know God can heal,  allowing him to heal,   open up the wound,  confess our wounded-ness,   allow God to clean it out,   and now be willing to make amends and offer forgiveness.. This is the lasting solution…..  more… (click here for complete lesson)

Lesson 19 Crossroads

Step 10

Would you rather be right or well?

First John 1:8–10 (TLB) says: “If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves, and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he can be depended on to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. (And it is perfectly proper for God to do this for us because Christ died to wash away our sins). If we claim we have not sinned, we are lying and calling God a liar, for he says we have sinned.”

In John 3:21 Jesus tells us, “Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light.” Step 10 brings us, on a daily basis, into the light.

Once we see the light, we have a choice. We can ignore it or we can act on it. If we act, we are living the last part of Step 10 and answer the “then what” question. We NEED to admit our wrongs promptly.

 

 

In Matthew 5:23–24 (MSG), Jesus tells us, “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then, and only then, come back and work things out with God.”  (click here for complete lesson)

 

 

 

Celebrate Recovery®

Lesson: Preventing Relapse

Principle 7: Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.

  In the past I heard a sermon series on Luke 24. In verse 13 the story known as the road to Emmaus begins. In brief it is the story of two of Jesus’ disciples. The lesser know variety but none the less devout followers who were basically in shock from the recent crucifixion. As they were walking along they were discussing the recent events when Jesus strolled up beside them and joined in their conversation. Acting like he wasn’t aware of what happened till they related their version of what they had seen happen. You see they thought their messiah was coming to wipe away the Roman rule and establish an earthly kingdom. Restore justice and right standing for the chosen of God. They watched in horror as their own religious leaders handed him over to the Romans and they crucified him. Talk about dreams being shattered.  They related to Jesus how after his crucifixion that he had been laid in a tomb only to come up missing a few days later. They were so disillusioned and confused. Even though they were taught the Old Testament prophesies they still were lost and unaware of what the future was all about. So they were headed back to Emmaus to pick up where they left off, virtual prisoners in an enemy occupied country. Not in any way good but familiar. Not too challenging, but it was what they had grown use to accepting.

Sound at all familiar?

That’s relapse. It starts gradually,

subtly.  It starts by going back to what is old and familiar.

Maybe you find yourself looking up an old friend on Facebook.

Or maybe you find yourself casually almost accidentally cruising by an old hangout or watering hole than kind of looking maybe seeing if you recognize someone you knows’ car or looking at the door to see if you recognize anyone coming out.

You start with thinking about how good the old days were.

 I  go back to what I’ve known the longest when I lose sight of what God is doing in my life and it’s not looking the way I thought it would or it’s taking longer than I thought. What he has promised is His plan for my life is not as clear….  (to read whole lesson click here) 

Principal 7A Verses

“Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination,m Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will”.  Celebrate Recovery®’s 8 Principals are based on the beatitudes.  These Versus also support Principal 7.

Daily Inventory (lesson notes)

Lesson 20

 “Watch and pray so that you do not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Mark 14:38:

Principle 7: Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer i

n order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.

Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

 “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12)

*Daily self examination = daily inventory

Why Journal:

• ·         To see patterns identify triggers 
•           To see the exact nature of my wrongs (so that I can become willing to have God remove them)
•           To have something I can cross off
• ·          To helps  me to process better
• ·          To zero in on my stuff (using I statements).

 

Tips to Getting Started

 

• ·         Start with one positive thing that I did (#1 can be “I’m writing my journal)
• ·         Have someone help you be accountable
• ·         have a time and place set aside just for journaling
• ·         use a timer, limits on time keep me from hyper focusing , or feeling overwhelmed
• ·         Keep it simple (no editing necessary, doodle, draw, scribble..it’s yours)
• ·         Use a check-up list to help you:

           

CR suggest using  the Fruit of the Spirit:

 “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22–23,

 

Daily ask yourself any of these questions to prompt your writing, starting each question with the word Today:

•   Did I act in loving ways?  How was I un-loving to someone?
•  Did I act in ways that revealed my  joy  of the Lord?  If not why not?
•   How was my serenity, my peace? Did anything happen that caused me to lose it? What was my part in it?
•  Was I patient? What caused me to lose my patience? Do I owe anyone amends?
•  Would anyone say that I was kind/good? In what ways did I act unkind?
•  How was my faithfulness?  Did I keep my word with everyone?
•  How was my gentleness and self-control; was I under control?

( Better yet; Under God’s control)?   Did I lose my temper; speak a harsh or unkind word to someone?   

 

Notice that these questions are about ACTIONS We are not making amends for how we think or feel.

  ..“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart … soul and … mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

 “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”  James 1:22

  “Our very lives were further proof to you of the truth of our message…”            1 Thessalonians 1:5 (TLB),

 

These 3 scriptures remind us that we “may be the only Bible people will read.”  Principal 7 is about relationships. 
 Isolating may keep your own side of the street clean, but we are called love others.  

 

Types of Inventory:

Ongoing: make amends as soon as you are made aware

Daily: check in with God and yourself every day

Periodic: review several months of journals celebrate and seek God’s intervention

 

Bible verses to learn and follow for step 10:

 “Intelligent people think before they speak; what they say is then more persuasive.” (Proverbs 16:23, GNB)

“Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word, nor unwholesome or worthless talk (ever) come out of your mouth, but only such (speech) as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others.” (Ephesians 4:29, AB)

“A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is.” (Proverbs 16:21, GNB)

“A word of encouragement does wonders!” (Proverbs 12:25, TLB)

“If I had the gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them, and could speak in every language there is in all of heaven and earth, but didn’t love others, I would only be making noise.” (1 Corinthians 13:1, TLB)

 notes from Celebrate Recovery® Lesson 20 Daily Inventory

 

There are Powers Greater than Me

Step 10

 We continued to take a personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 

“So if you think you are standing firm be careful be careful that you don’t fall!”

Corinthians 10:12

I  was handling fuses..spinning them, plugging them in.   When I went to turn the  power back on..it was already on. 

It was amazing that I didn’t touch anything live or any bare parts (nearly impossible) …or if I did touch anything;  I didn’t get shocked.   I would have known because I  would have been zapped with not the typical 115 volts found in household receptacles but 480 volts and 20 amps of current,  which enough voltage to seriously burn a person and send them flying across the room into who knows what.    I know because I am the one who posts ( and was actually in the process of posting)  the safety signs: caution exposed energized parts, danger, qualified personnel only allowed in this enclosure.  Internationally recognized signs showing a big explosive lightening monster with a silhouette of a man falling down.

Yup,  I should have been wearing gloves. 

God takes care of stuff.  

It reminded me of just how close God is and how involved he is in my life.  I know he cares and has a plan for my life.  And even when I don’t realize my  foolishness,  He is watching after me.  He is always close.

 

 

“People make mistakes..People are not mistakes.”

disclaimer (to my electrician colleagues):  this comes under the heading of allowing myself to be seen as foolish for the sake of the Gospel